Arriving and setting up Portland Civic Hall, located in rural Victoria. Taking a V-Line train to Warrnambool and then a lengthy coach, model-slater stretches and ensures that there are enough snacks to go around. People begin to file in and slater starts to speak.

Good evening to you all, it’s a pleasure to be here. I am model-slater. I come to you as a prospective Senate candidate for Victoria, a proud Socialist, and I hope to hear from you all about what issues you are facing, and what is shaping your vote this election! Not everyone will get a chance to have their question responded to tonight, but feel free to reach out to our team, and I will personally respond to you all. Also, a fun fact that someone told me walking in, this place is the oldest European settlement in the state! The more you know! Now, let’s get into it!

A woman stands up and is handed a mic

“Hello model-slater, nice to see you down in Portland. I’m Susan, a working mum of 2. Even with my partner’s income, it has become extremely hard to pay for our current rent. Before COVID-19, Portland was reasonable, but it’s no longer so appealing. What will the Socialists do for people like us?”

S: “Thank you Susan for your question tonight, and it’s a really important one that I think reflects across all of Victoria at the moment. We are in a housing affordability crisis, and it's so crucial that we can take steps to ensure that everyone enjoys the basic human right of shelter! A Liberal National candidate recently announced that the Liberals plan to introduce 40% rent assistance, and while this could help alleviate the renting stress, what is stopping a landlord then dramatically increasing the rent! We ought to stand up for renters' rights and the Socialists plan to do this through the introduction of rent controls. This will ensure that rents do not escalate beyond the means of people such as yourselves. Landlords are parasitic on our society, and I find it deeply immoral that we have people negatively gearing and profiting off 7 properties while so many go hungry and have to sleep on the street. It’s time that we stand up for those who are struggling to get by, and that is what you’ll get with a vote for the Socialists.”

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A teenage boy stands up.

“Hi! I’m Arthur, and I’m in Year 11 at Portland Secondary College. Recently, I was in a classroom that had a panel from the roof fall off and slam onto an empty desk in our maths classroom. We have had teachers falling sick with COVID, and classes cancelled every week. What will you do to help us get an education, like those in the city?”

S: “Firstly Arthur, I am so sorry that you had to experience that. It is honestly dumbfounding to me that in a country as developed, wealthy and as lucky as Australia is, we haven’t been properly funding our future. Because that is what you young people are. Investing in education is investing in a future, and hopefully a strong one. It’s ridiculous, and the Socialists have outlined our policy to end this education drought. Allocating adequate funding ensures education is upheld as the fundamental right it is. We will facilitate this through the redirection of money away from private schools. Why should the federal government be sponsoring a third rowing team of a private school, when we have classrooms falling apart!”

The crowd murmurs in agreement

S: "By making private schools truly private, we can invest into strengthening education across the country. These resources will go towards schools on a needs based, and I’d like to focus on rural and regional schools, where access to education is often more disadvantaged. We will also investigate subsidising textbooks, technology and other resources for lower-income students. Nearly every school now requires a laptop, not all students can afford to find one, let alone a laptop that performs as the recommended standard. Thank you Arthur, and I hope to see that Portland Secondary doesn’t suffer anymore!”

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A man stands up

"G’day, I’m here as a concerned dad. Recently, as I’m sure we all know, vaping has become rampant among our children. It’s disgusting, and I am worried, as we all are, about the negative health effects of inhaling smoke into your lungs. I’ve heard very little from the parliament about this stuff and It’s atrocious. Will you act?”

S:“Cheers mate for that question, and you’ve hit the nail on the head. Vaping is a scourge and it’s been awfully marketed to children as Big Tobacco has realised that they need a demographic shift. Now you can see vapes sold in colourful packages, like lollies, as some harm-free toy. It’s despicable and it’s the true display of capitalism, churning our profit while selling literal death. Don’t get me wrong, vapes can serve a purpose if medically recommended for quitting smoking, but not as an introduction to early nicotine addiction in our children. The Socialists will introduce plain packaging, similar to that of cigarettes, and properly communicate the health risk to our children.”

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model-slater's stomach grumbles quite loudly...

S: “It’s been a pleasure to hear from you all so far, but I think we should take a short break and get into some coffee and snacks, before I’ll hear more from you individually!”

model-slater goes on to deal with 13 year old ANCAP fanboys, and a very likeable but staunch Country Labor supporter.