T4A almost 45ish yo near Augusta

​

people say im sexy and pretty which is always nice to hear. Nobody has called me white or submissive, but if they did, that be true. The do like to say im shy and quiet also true, unless im writing. but as for my looks... it try to be sexy and pretty but i dont think im passable. i'm not a trap, chick with dick, trans porn model. so dont go out in public in a dress and makeup. im wary of strangers. im somewhat smart and definately complited and see things from a different persepctive so am a bit shy inhibited and quiet at first. I learned its better not to really answer 'so what you thiking about". im geek with lots of wierd and geeky interests and thoughts.

https://preview.redd.it/81az7sbzlzjc1.png?width=351&format=png&auto=webp&s=fdff9648302fb3a740d578bf97ff2ae1ac51786c

My imagination is insane....,hold on, no its not, well maybe, no waIT. no not insane just really big, i mean kinky anrd sexy and stuff. I try to keep it real, as in. fantasies that i think could actually happen to me. But something happened recently that changed everything.

Do you know what a plaboy penthouse or cherry or hustler magaine is? They are amazing magazines that I loved reading and looking at the pictures since i first found a treasure trove of them when i was 6. I was telling someone (yes thats their pronouns) how they shaped my views, thoughts, desires, what i find normal, etc. They said "You're wierd" I said, " i think of it as geeky, nerdy, sexy, hot and cool. hard for you to understand lol". And then they said "All those stories and letters are FAke. They are written by perverted old men who cant get laID so they try to be all macho say they are straight and want trannies to be passable or wearing bags to beg them to pound thier ass into the emergency room after they had thier fill and came in your ass". "No", i say "you;re making that up and not my ass, maybe yours, lol".

But i have been contacted by people like that. I didnt ask if they wrote stories. Didnt tthink about it and anyways they can't answer simple questions, or write more then half sentence at a time, so surely not.

Then that someone said" and then others writers do it so they masturbate and take pics of themselves wearing dresses and lingerie." Im like "stop it that sounds like me and im tired of people calling me faggot and pointing and laughing so go f* yourself., jk lol" they said 'thats not funny and like i said, you're wierd and i see a future for you in writing impossible stories with characters who could never exist. So sad though, you've been out for 4years, how many women have expressed any interest more than taking a trip to see the freak at the freak show? or your last lover when yout old her you were trans. not kidding lol rofl"

Wow right? What an turd. Did you see how i totally p'wnd that convo :D ;P My mojis are old school and lingo new. I should have rapped that someone down and then did a dance off. That someone is lucky i had mercy AND so wrong. About the types of people writing the stories. I think its AI. Bu the part about impossible stories and characters it just cant be. I went ot disney once in fl when the rooms were really cheap and it happened to be gay pride week. I remember standing there watching and wondering if i got a princess makeover which one id be and wondering which one hung out the most with minnie mouse because she grabbed my ass a few years earlier and became my favorite character when peter pan parades by and im wondering whey they are using a girl to play a male character and the thought came that maybe it wasnt minnie but they had switched constumes which means guy grabbed my ass and i liked it, i 'm trans and love red lipstick and dresses. Do you know what that adds up to? I was abot to figure it out when Walt Disney voice came from beyond the grave saying something about how all dreams come true if i just believe. Oddly My first thought was about how i thought it was another grossl unfairness that French guys get to come over here and got o the water park wearing speedos and i have to wear cotton shorts with an inseam down to the bottom of my knee. MIght as well be wearing a Burkha but wait im not allowed to wear that either. SO maye Disney was saying i can wear speedos to the water park. No thats stupid, he was talking about my kinky sexual fantasies has to be because all the guy started cheering and deep toungue kissing and looking at me and licking their finger and eye twitching.

So looking for somoene to help me figure it out. I have a wild and according to that someone a crazy and wierd imagination, so it might need to be 2 people. Those with more than 3 i've put in the impossible archive.

im not nfatuated with cock or bbc, but bbw/thick/curvy black wome who take control sexually , love oral sex for hours and squirts, likes being called Goddess and feminzng me... they top my desire chart. Too bad they as rare as winning the lottery, but got to put it out there and asking is like buying a lottery ticket.

#2 would be southerncowgirl0120 and optimisticly saying that she does exist itsw probably as unlikely as well winning the lottery

#3 any other trans or female

4#chilled guys older than me who love making me center of sexual attention while the lead things sexually and committed to me cumming after they do but always before they leave

also i love pnp but respect if dont like it will get my attention if you are group 4.

Groups really dont m atter much, not a test or job interview. But if you cant write a couple paragraphs, and wont even try to get me excited about meeting beyond a cock pick, and dont care if i feel safe or not. then dont write. I'm far too complicated and that will annoy you and ghost and make me all sad and stuff. so dont write and spare me the tears

​