I have always questioned reality as I’ve grown up. I also get prophetic dreams of Deja vu, which when come true, bad things happen. My mother said that she gets them too and asked why I never told her.

Ik Ik this isn’t really going anywhere. But I feel like I’ve been cursed for most of my life and that something affects my reality, makes bad things happen for me and my family.

I listened too the Robert Monroe tapes, before, I’ve reached focus 10 and 12 idk if I really did, but I felt the change, I may not left my body, but I could visualize things, and scenery of different places, and memories.

But the other night, I decided to start listening too then while on single dose of acid. I’ve tripped many times before, had spiritual events happen during trips of shrooms and dmt, but never like this on acid. I can handle myself fine while tripping and went in this one with a very positive mindset. I listened and did the usual. It definitely changed my trip.

I saw what was I thought the tree of life at the peak or the structure of the universe, and god as a ball of energy or some entity. It was comforting me, not like the usual mental trip of self blame, just positive reassurance, and reminder how I could be better. I was taught again, like my other trips, that we are all the same energy and conscience of the universe and god.

I was also taught this time, that our world is plagued with distraction and the dulling of our minds. With negative vibrations and sounds and music that all affect us in some way. The vibrations of the tapes sent me down a rabbit hole, while listening to my normal music, would dull my mind and make my trip less colorful and more ugly not as enjoyable, kind of a dread feeling.

The vibrating tune and the focus 10 feeling stayed in my head and I could still hear the audio hum vibration of the videos, after it was over and turned off. When I went out of my room, I looked out the window down the street and saw shadows here and their sprinting across the street, live in a big city btw. I started started feeling like some was behind me, thought I saw something following me around the living room. Then I went to the bathroom and literally saw shadowy arms reaching out at me from behind, like something’s latched onto me.

Like I said I felt like something’s been disrupting my life for awhile. My oldest brother was really into satanist type stuff, he ended up committing suicide, he also did some messed up stuff to my older brother and cousin. When he died, me and my brother thought he haunted the house we lived in. My oldest used to listen to heavy metal a lot and my other brother would complain he could hear him and his music screaming, in the air vent that went to both rooms. After he died my brother claimed he could still hear it sometimes. I would hear sounds coming from his bedroom, his door would open on its own after being shut repeatedly, and you would get that being followed feeling, when you stood upstairs by yourself. I feel like he is tormenting us, for some reason, to get back at us for whatever he thought or what. I was 11 when he passed cried every night. My brother told some shit tho that completely changed how I thought of him. Since then I’ve been feeling his presence, he gives me signs, he has showed his presence. I just listened to the tapes again, where I successfully ap some memories and a beach, asked what I could do to make my life better, got the answer I was looking for. But when I take my headphones off, I see this purple orb floating above me in my vision, surrounded by lines of white static vibration that overtake my vision. I’ve seen this orb before and it’s every time I’ve tried to ap and a few times, just events of a random feeling of being watched, I’ve seen the orb manifest in my vision and hover above me, but I shrugged it off as maybe illusions, maybe cuz I was tired trying too sleep, or the mind altering affects of meditation, after affects on my serotonin from shit like lsd I’ve taken.

Idk tho, thanks for reading if you actually read my bs. But I refuse too believe I’m crazy, I believe their is much more too reality then we truly understand. I believe I’ve met and talked to god or multiple entities, while tripping on pshycs, even biblical angels and the devil on dmt. Hard too remember ever trip, but honestly hope these realizations I come up with in my mind are true, as they seem so real too me. I believe there is a spirit realm that surrounds us that we can not touch and see, but other dimensions, we can tap into, under the right circumstance.