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I’m 40 and I own my own home. I have lived on my own for over a year. I’m funny, impulsive, active, independent, and I would consider myself attractive. Had my heart broken over a year ago. Have been healing and in therapy. I want connection but I have zero, and I mean Zero desire to date. I have dated plenty in my lifetime. Lots of first dates…very few second dates. I prefer to meet someone in a more authentic way. The apps repulse me. I’m exhausted from working and upkeeping my home and land. I have no kids.
I mean, I want physical touch. I want to meet someone healed, and watch movies and cuddle, and have a connection with someone.
But how in the world do you mean someone healed and single that you can connect with in today’s world?? HELP
ANYONE KNOW OF ANY SINGLE, HEALED, AND ATTRACTIVE MEN OUR AGE?? 😂😂. Send them my way 🙃🙃
Ones "our age" are broken and jaded and unenthusiastic. This is an over generalisation and certainly not speaking for an entire population. (I'm adding this in as I assumed it was obvious but apologies to anyone offended for stating it before.)
As you mentioned you are attractive and have yourself together, go younger. It's my two cents and take it for what it is. I went on a few dinner dates with men in their forties after coming out of a 10-year relationship and honestly, really slim pickings in New York city and that's saying something because it's a densely populated area. Men in their twenties are fun but not settled. Thirties was the sweet spot for me.
Men in their early 30s are still enthusiastic and open to learning and growing with their partners and usually already on a career path. Also less baggage in terms of financial impact of divorce or kids.
I can't give you advice on the dating apps, it's just a tool in my view. You can try local meetups or activities clubs however pickings are slim at any age.
Perhaps and I suppose that depends on the circles you move in. But I meet lots of women who are successful and still beautiful and physically fit coming out of divorces or breakups in their forties compared to men both on a personal front and in the workplace. Even if they are not yet emotionally settled they work hard (again generalizing), in getting therapy and working on themselves actively. Their male counterparts (again in general) rarely self-subscribe to therapy and commit to a physical trainer when needed to get themselves ready and in shape for a new partner. In my experience, lots of men are also looking for a substitute wife rather than preparing themselves to be a good husband in round two. There is a difference between a man who wants to be a husband and a man wants a wife. I want the former not the latter. Out of all of the dates I went on with men in their forties, none of them were interested really in personal growth and passion for new interests and challenging themselves. However, the dates I went on with men in their thirties, most were very committed to their physical fitness as well as mental with focus on their career growth. 90% of them were excited to be husbands and wanted to be with a life partner. There was a distinct difference in experience in dating 40-year-old and 30-year-old men.
Sorry I don't mean to generalise and you are absolutely right that men would have been villainized for making a similar comment..
I have many wonderful but taken friends in their forties.. It is very rare to meet a choice of emotionally well-adjusted men who is single in their forties who still retain enthusiasm and passion for life and are physically fit.
Congratulations if you are one of those. It's rare
Oh I'm definitely not playing anymore. I've been in a relationship for the past 2 years. He is 32 hence my earlier comments..
Sorry to hear about your job, good luck with this search.
Oh yeah I started with dinners and then I whittled that down to drinks and even that was too long, I then got it down to Juice or coffee for the first date for 30 minutes..😅 There was a point where I was doing two dates a night and I did that for 2 weeks straight so that's 14 dates in 2 weeks (all dinners).. hard lesson to learn for me. I really didn't like hinge at all, too many hookup types.. I preferred bumble 2 years ago. No idea what it's like now.
I don't wait for the guy to schedule the date but I do suggest my availability so he has to be reciprocating interest and trying to co-ordinate with my efforts. Agree with move slow and trust actions. Slow to hire, quick to fire in the beginning.
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Did you realise this is a woman asking for an opinion right?
I'm not writing off the entire population of men in their forties like I keep saying. Not entirely sure why you're taking this so personally. If you are such an eligible man, I'm sure you have a plethora of women to choose from considering there are more single women in their forties than men statistically speaking. All the power to you.
Also, you do realise Reddit is literally the definition of anecdotal opinion?