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How do you productively deal with jealousy for circumstances out of your control?
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On a lot of advice about jealousy, its basically saying it identifies what you want, so just work for what you want (because 'theres enough of it out there for everyone') and be happy for others.

What if its a circumstance that is outside of your control? How can you productively combat jealousy?

Examples: Youre infertile and a friend is pregnant. Your parents have passed away but a friend spends time with her parents regularly. You want to travel but cant afford to, but acquaintances can. You wish you can do some adventurous things, but your health prevents you. Youve applied for a school and rejected, but others have been accepted.

Edit:these are examples, not circumstances of my life

My only things that seem to help kind of, is radically accepting your circumstance and focusing on what is working out for you. But still when you feel pangs of anxiety/insecurity from this jealousy, what has been healthy for you to do to combat it?

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When you experience envy in a situation where you can’t have what you desire and you don’t want to linger in envy, you really only have one option: Shifting your focus.

Instead of lamenting what you don’t have, keep a gratitude journal of everything positive in your life.

Instead of focusing on your lack of something, try to reframe it by seeing what it offers you (no kid means more freedom, more sleep, more energy etc)

Instead of begrudging what you don’t have now, put effort into getting it in the future (start putting money aside for that trip).

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6 months ago