I have many questions I’d like to ask here, but today I decided on this one - it’s an universal issue, when it comes to relationships, family, coworkers, people in general - and I’m sure it isn’t just mine.

Whether it’s the circumstances of my upbringing (as it often is), my introverted personality or perhaps lack of self esteem… Even though on a rational level I know that I can resolve things in my life better if I address them openly and directly, my emotional response is always to step back, shut down, and just deal with it myself.

This can send me into a spiral of stress and can inflate the issue, to the point where talking becomes more and more difficult.

I’ve been in therapy for 10 years and I’ve come a long way with communication and setting boundaries. Still, especially if I have an issue that is important to me, and if it’s a vulnerable position gor me, I just postpone talking about it. If I do eventually open up to talking about it, I usually become incredibly stressed out and even afraid. A side effect of this is that I usually dismiss the topic quickly, or decrease it’s significance, usually leaving me to marinate in the same issue, and a bonus feeling of guilt that I couldn’t communicate it properly.

This sometimes leads into animosity toward the person I’m having a hard time opening up to, like they aren’t interested in what I have to say - even though a huge chunk of this is just in my head. I keep having imaginary dialogues with them, but am later unable to actually talk in real life, especially with the same confidence and composure I would have in the internal dialogue.

I think I need this to change.

If any women out there have dealt with this issue, do you have any small steps, tips or tricks on how to authentically communicate about deeply meaningful things without being overwhelmed with fear, guilt, anguish or a defensive approach?

If there are others who still haven’t found a way to resolve this, we might all benefit from hearing some relevant experiences and revelations.

Thank you for reading my question. I’m wishing you all a great day, week, month… filled with authentic communication. 🩷