I've been dating a guy (35M) who I met online exclusively for 3 months now. We haven't defined the relationship yet but has been exclusive from the beginning.

What I've realised is that I have an urge to swipe again when I feel insecure with him. Initially, I thought it was because we hadn't defined the relationship yet; but then I realised that I constantly felt insecure as well in my past long-term relationships. Those relationships were defined and stable at that time.

The current person has been going fine. However, when I tried to have the "define the relationship" conversation with him a month ago, he was like you can call us whatever you want. He made an example of if someone asks "How's your girlfriend" he wouldn't clarify it and would just go along with the term.

His main argument was that things go naturally and not everyone has the awkward DTR talk.

Then recently I brought up the topic of whether we should delete dating apps. (From the very early stage, he already said he's not using it/them. ) Then he's like - deleting or not deleting doesn't mean much, people can just reinstall them. You should trust each other in not using apps. "I wouldn't ask you to delete your app because I trust you. But if you want me to delete the apps then I will." "I also find it strange why you need to constantly reconfirm with me that if I'm seeing other people."

I admit his points are valid but I didn't get the "crispy clean" answers which bothers me a little (even if he has shown no signs of "cheating" etc).

Since coming out of the last long-term relationship, I've been wanting to work on myself so I can show up differently in a better way when I meet the next person. So far, I've tried being very honest with myself and with the other person, rather than beating around the bush. However, insecurity is something I need to work on and seems like it's an obstacle for me at the moment.

To be very honest sometimes I start to lose hope of whether I will find "the one" and get married in my life. :(

I'd like to hear your suggestions on:

a) How to feel more secure?

b) Thoughts on the conversation I had with him?

-------Update----- Hey ladies, I appreciate your input! This morning I put every in a text and laid it very clear that I need a label and what it means to me (point 1234 etc). TBH I thought this through even before posting this online, I realize that there's nothing I could lose. If he gives me a positive answer, great; if the opposite, great too because that would confirm that he's not in alignment with what I'm looking for.

I reckon my message was clear and loving, rather being aggressive.

He hasn't responded to it yet. We shall see! I'm happy either way. :D