TLDR; i’m at a really, really weird crossroad with where i’m at. how did you guys figure out what to do at this time? what are ways i can figure out what to do with my life right now?

the past year has been so many things. last march (2022) i got out of a really tumultuous relationship- honestly? it kind of really messed me up. i started travelling by myself to get out of the city- i drove a lot, which was always something i wasn’t able to do as i was in a really bad car accident and without a car and the mental capacity to drive. i started dating a polyamorous guy from my internship which healed parts of me from my previous relationship, and we travelled too, but things became tumultuous between his other partner and i and i ended it. i began therapy around that time. my internship turned into a contract, i got into a film fest in nyc for a film i directed, another film fest in my city for two films i directed, travelled more, got photos of mine into the washington post and a source at columbia university. i got into a semester-long study abroad program in paris, and didn’t have to pay for it with scholarships, fafsa, and a 529 plan. i felt and still feel so fortunate. i came back home in june while going through miscarriage symptoms though, and right before leaving paris i had learned that the guy i had been seeing there was cheating on me with multiple women.

now, i’m here. i’m unemployed, and there are so many routes i can go. it’s liberating, but i feel a metric ton of pressure about the next 30 days as this is my last semester of college.

i don’t know if i should push myself to the limits to finish out with a double major as a safety blanket, i feel like my mental health would plummet, but i understand it’s temporary. i don’t know if i should do grad school, but i feel like it’s a good way to 1) grow somewhere else at a quicker rate (i live in a midwestern city) 2) get a head start on my career in a place where employers and potential cohorts can take me more seriously (i’m treated so much differently when i say where i’m from). or just move myself and start working, or say screw it and do workaway or TAPIF for a bit.

so, how did you guys figure it out? what would you recommend i do?