Hi everyone! My fiancee is of the opinion that if a woman has done something in the past sexually, but then won't do it with her current partner, it's because she isn't attracted to or doesn't respect him as much as the guy who was was willing to do those things with (it's not relevant to our own relationship).

This seemed really strange to me, because my own immediate assumption about why that might be the case was totally different. My thought was that if she's done something with one guy, but then she doesn't do it in her relationship with the next guy, she probably didn't want to do it in the first place, and so to me I thought it might be suggestive of lower self-esteem; she did it with the first guy because she thought or knew that she had to in order to maintain his interest, rather than because she wanted to. I thought that was more likely than lack of attraction to the latter guy. It struck me as wholesome that with the latter guy, the girl felt that she could say, "actually, I'd prefer not to do that." My fiancee emphatically disagrees with this and says, "every guy knows that if she won't do it with you but would with someone else, she isn't as into you."

I thought it was really interesting! If you're someone who has been willing to do different things with different men, what have your reasons been?