I’ve asked all my female friends and most of them admit that the main source is in fact other women - whether or not they make snarky comments, they still feel like they’re judging more harshly.

The few who said men had unfortunately suffered a handful of seriously negative experiences, being called ugly/fat or something thereabouts by a guy they had liked or were publicly humiliated.

In the age of apparent body positivity and normalisation of ‘imperfections’ where lingerie models come in different shapes and sizes it seems worse than ever - my female friend group are overall skinnier and more body conscious than they’ve ever been, and one had to be hospitalised with a bad episode of anorexia last year.

(The ozempic furore made me realise that perhaps the body positivity movement is more of a short term coping mechanism for a lot of ‘body acceptance influencers’ whose eyes lit up at the prospect of a potential weight loss wonder drug - often those who weren’t even fat by any classical definition… also in what universe is posting incessantly about your one roll of belly fat appended with 5 self pitying paragraphs helping to normalise it?)

I’ve always made a point of avoiding physical criticism and when dating never mentioned it as a reason for breaking things off, and generally try not to draw attention to the physical (besides some general compliments when it feels appropriate) - my male friends tell me they’re the same way - I don’t see a whole lot of bullying online anymore, and often if there are such comments they’re heavily scorned by others - so I’m curious what the main sources are of all this body shaming and insecurity?

Also do you feel like only certain body types have been normalised / celebrated? I.e the Kim K hourglass which whilst more voluptuous than what came before it, isn’t exactly chubby let alone fat, and doesn’t help to normalise belly fat or cellulite or other body types.

Bonus question: how should a conventionally fit guy who’s more attracted to chubbier women compliment them without making them more self conscious? Or how can I convince a lady who doesn’t consider herself to be conventionally attractive that I find her attractive and I’m not just trying to get laid or make her feel good?

Edit: seems it’s pretty evenly split between men and women. In any case sorry if you’ve had to deal with bullying and scorn over your appearance ,it’s one of the more pathetic aspects of our inglorious species.