More specific to people from dating apps/people who were previously strangers and especially if one or both is an introvert.

The conversations both over text and in person were normal, no red flags. Normal amount of somewhat awkward silence while talking over coffee. Coffee dates are a norm for me, I've had some that I knew right away and turned into relationships while others I immediately knew I never wanted to see them again.

No red flags, "I'm a decent human" types of green flags but I'm not excited about it. They have direction in life, friends, hobbies, manners. I prefer to connect with people in a friendly way and only directly flirt when I mean it, which has not been problematic. When the other person I'm meeting are more reserved or less animated/doesn't know what to say, I struggle with "are you nervous or is there no chemistry here?"

Each time that I've agreed to more date(s) I find out I did still read the correct personality and there is no chemistry, but I do feel if I were too nervous to be myself I would appreciate the benefit of the doubt and be upset with someone else having quick judgments.

I've been on dates and in relationships where I felt huge feelings from day one and I didn't like where it ended up. I don't want to make how someone dysfunctional made me feel the standard, so what's the balance between "not feeling it" and "I have no reason to say no"?