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I'm 27 and I have never done anything sexual. A guy kissed me when we were 14 but I didn't do anything so I've never kissed someone back.
I'm horny and curious and really tired of wanting something and not knowing how to get it.
I've been told I'm attractive but I'm insecure about my body and (obviously) my inexperience. At this point, I'm afraid.
I want to start working towards this but I have a long way to go. I don't know any guys I'd want to sleep with and I don't know where to meet them. I've tried dating apps but I tend to chicken out.
I would like to go to a club but I've never been and I don't have any friends to go with.
Do you have any ideas on how I can work towards this goal? I need to boil the frog (I'm the frog here). Please help
Hey! I feel like working on your self confidence is where I’d start. If you’re in therapy could be something to bring up, maybe exploring why you don’t feel confident and what you think of yourself. If you’re not in therapy something to consider perhaps!
While bars and clubs are intimidating especially if going alone, I’ve found lots of people will chat with you if you sit at the bar. Even if it’s the bartender, getting comfortable just being out and talking is a good start. Rather than going in thinking I HAVE to find someone who wants to have sex with me, you know?
Hope this helps and good luck!
what's stopping you from doing the things she tells you to?
Gotcha, getting out of the house is a good start! especially getting comfortable just being in public.
yes apps are scary, don't feel pressured to jump into meeting someone right away. let it naturally progress and build trust until you feel somewhat excited or want to meet
go to a coffee shop and do what? bumble bff and the meet up app I've heard are good!
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If it is not helping it may be worth switching therapists, not everyones approach works for everyone especially if you're not seeing progress.
At the bar, yeah making comments on things like clothes or appearance "hey I love your hair!" or "that's a great color on you". It can feel awkward and sometimes people aren't in the mood to chat, but that's part of it. I used to go to an arcade bar that had a super Nintendo at the bar and I would play a game and people would come up and comment or join in with the extra controller!