A bit of background. I initiated sex with him often, 9/10 times. He would say yes 8/10 times until it slowly decreased to maybe 2/10 he would say yes, still not initiating himself. I asked him throughout the decrease of he was okay or if I could do anything to help. He kept claiming he was stressed and there were a few times he couldn't do it and we would just cuddle and play games together. One day I got home from work and hadn't noticed he was already drinking. I tried to initiate as we hadn't done anything in a week and he brushed me off. I asked what was wrong and he snapped. told me I was the problem and he was tired of me always asking for sex. It hurt a lot and I, over time, stopped initiating entirely. He would even ignore me if I put lingerie on to the point I don't even try to wear it anymore. He was fine with this for almost a whole year before the fighting/arguing began. He suddenly wanted me to go back to how I was, he was disappointed that I didn't initiate anymore and turned him down when he would. His form of initiating is a couple strokes on my thigh and a "I want you" and then he'd turn around and play his game for hours. He was confused when I told him that didn't make me horny in the slightest.

I do still imagine him and feel that desire towards him when he isn't with me, but the moment I see him I can't bring myself to initiate anything nor do I feel the desire to say yes to him. He is now upset that I don't want to partake in his kinks even though he has ignored mine and that I don't initiate or say yes more often. I started to try again. When I do initiate I'm not confident about it and he frequently dismisses me and then complains that we haven't done anything in weeks.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me either. Advice would be appreciated. Ask questions if you need clarity, I rush typed this as I am at work currently. Thank you.