Anyone who's spent time on expat forums or at bars has heard stories about how a guy got taken for a ride, whether it be for money or a green card. Some of these stories may be true, but many are exaggerations at best. As someone who works with visas for a living, I’m pretty knowledgeable about U.S. immigration law, so I thought I’d address some of these stories I’ve heard.

Story 1
He brought her over to the U.S., and she tricked him into bringing her cousin over. It turned out it was her real husband, and they were having an affair while he was at work.

This is an outright lie. First of all, he couldn’t bring her husband—or even her boyfriend—over. A U.S. citizen may only petition a romantic partner or a relative to come to the U.S. A random guy in the Philippines would have no legal connection to the U.S. citizen. A green card holder can only sponsor direct relatives (mother, brother, sister, father, etc.), so she wouldn’t be able to sponsor her boyfriend since she has no legal ties to him. Even if she divorced him, she wouldn’t be able to file a fiancé petition, since that option is only available to U.S. citizens. If she tried to marry him and file a spousal visa petition, that would play right into her American ex’s hands to prove she committed marriage fraud. There are just so many issues with this story that I could write an entire post on it.

Story 2
He brought her over, she divorced him, and got the house and everything he owned, except for the shirt off his back. Plus, she got the kids. Highly unlikely.

In most states, the way community property laws work means that the ex-spouse gets half of the marital assets. That means if the house was acquired before the marriage, she probably wouldn’t be entitled to it. Plus, filing for divorce shortly after getting a green card looks suspicious as hell. As for the kids, in the past, courts were extremely biased against men and fathers, often operating under the archaic belief that the mother would automatically be the better parent. However, due to the diligent work of men’s and fathers’ rights groups, things have improved. Most divorces now result in joint custody. More importantly, if you can prove marriage fraud took place, you can file for an annulment instead of a divorce. This means it’s as if the marriage never happened, and she gets nothing.

Story 3
He brought her over and then filed a false Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) petition to get out of the two-year waiting period. My verdict: Maybe, but rare.

The VAWA explicitly states that she doesn't need physical proof of abuse to file a VAWA petition. However, the burden of proof is still high. She would need to provide credible evidence, such as police reports, affidavits, or other documentation of abuse. If she were to fabricate or exaggerate claims, her petition could be denied. The likelihood of fraudulent claims being successful is rare because U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) closely scrutinizes such petitions. The person would also need to get a therapist or similar professional to provide supporting evidence. If that therapist were to lie or provide false documentation, they could lose their professional license. While there may be a small number of cases where this happens, it’s pretty rare.

Lastly, I want to share a story where the man won. A Filipina doctor wanted to practice medicine in the U.S. but couldn’t find a sponsor for a J-1 visa. She married an older man and promptly divorced him after she got her green card and medical license. Since she was the higher-earning spouse, she ended up having to pay him alimony. He now lives very comfortably in Panglao. The only downside is that he can’t marry his new girlfriend, as he would lose his alimony, which is how I met him—he was trying to get her a visa to the U.S.

Just remember: bad news travels fast, and most people don’t tell the whole story. When it comes to relationship breaks, there are three sides to every story: his side, her side, and the truth. Honestly speaking, most of us know if our partner truly cares for us; it’s just that some of us make excuses to hide from the truth.