Coming soon - Get a detailed view of why an account is flagged as spam!
view details

This post has been de-listed

It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.

1,224
Is this inappropriate for a teacher to ask?
Post Body

I'll keep everyone updated down at the bottom of this post. (I'm in Australia, therefore it's legal to drink and do a lot of things at 18. This teacher has also been doing weird stuff for a while now like looking at me from across the quad (our eatting area) for a while.. If you want you can see my other post to this community that seem concerning.. I (17F) walk to my class in a demountable which is at the back of the school where hardly any classes are (so no hallway) where I see my teacher (26M) standing just at the side of the door. I walk down as he walks to the open window as he's smiling while looking at me. He looks through the open window as he says "Morning" which I just smile and walk down the path, into the classroom as he walks to his desk at the other side of the room from where I sit. I sit down. My teacher then asked me "And how are we today?" and I say, "Not too bad". Then he asked me "Are you 18 yet?" just all of a sudden after greeting me which surprised me. Then he asked "When are you turning?" which I only reply the month which he replies with "Oh okay, so not too long.." and then asks "Doing anything for your big 18th?" which I replied with "Going out" and he asked if I was going out to where his home town is about three hours away where he usually goes every weekend as he smiles at me. He then asks me about when im getting my license and starts kinda hounding me to get it so i can have my "independence" as he said.. which he asked if I lived in town and because i dont live in town, he asked how far i live out of town.. but he has been asking me so much for a while now. I just answered with one worded answers because I'm shy (social anxiety).. I mean, it may be normal for teachers to ask this, but it made me uncomfortable because I've never had a teacher ask me those types of questions before. I was also in the room alone with him with the door shut (which he was standing near the door earlier so he could've opened it but he didn't) while asking me these questions because no one had shown up for class yet. (He has a fiance, soon to be wife) So, is this normal for a teacher to ask these types of questions? (look at my other post on this community that is labelled kinda the same title in my profile and see if it's even more concerning if you want to)

UPDATE: I've got to wondering why he asked me about my birthday even though he can search it up on the database.. does anyone know why he may have instead of asking me?.. I also talked to the teachers and my principal and they said that they would talk to him about it and keep a close eye on him, but they said that it's probably innocent.. but hopefully he stops.. and hopefully he doesn't hurt me for it.. I'm going back to school on monday, so I'll see what happens. (28/08/2024)

UPDATE: So today, I went to school terrified at what this teacher may say or do. So when the bell rang for first period (his class), I walk down to the demountable where we have our class. I was also so scared because I'm the only one in his class today.. because everyone else is on training for their exams which I'm not doing because I'm not in the same exams as them. He finally walks down and I walk in quickly (The door was actually open today). I sit in my spot and he walks into the classroom. He greets me which I say a shy "Hey" back. He goes around opening all the blinds and he says, "Youre my only friend today" thne he starts asking about the trials (Our exams that we have before the actually big end of year exam (HSC)) which I reply with "I don't want to talk about it" because I did terrible in them. He then asks how I think I went in his trial exam which I said "It was probably my worst" and he says, "That's not what I like to hear" which I look at my desk avoiding eye contact. He then suggests to go to this other room because there are other people there. (I'm guessing he had a talking to so he doesn't want to be left alone with me because it may state the obvious). We walk to the room as all he does is talk about the trial when I clearly said that I didn't want to talk about them.. I'm too scared to speak up of course so I answer him with one worded answers. We eventually get to the room were some people are studying which he assigns me something to do. He leans over next to me to look at my screen which I thought was really close.. he gets me on what I have to do and explains. Then I nod and smile shyly (trying to keep him from asking anything about the report I made because I hate confrontation). He goes to walk out of the room to leave me with this teacher in this room and says, "Welcome back and good luck" to which I thank him and he walks out. So.. nothing suspicious happened, but he mustā€™ve got a talking to because he didn't want us to be alone in the room together which is fantastic. (02/09/2024 Monday)

Comments

donā€™t exchange any contact info, donā€™t talk to him about anything not related to school, and under no circumstances meet him outside school hours off campus. even if on campus, never leave the door closed in a room with just the two of you.

what heā€™s done here is allowed but you should listen to your gut because grooming starts small. the focus on your ā€œindependenceā€ is particularly concerning to me. i was groomed by a 40 year old teacher my senior year and he started with a lot of those ā€œyouā€™re an adult nowā€¦ā€ type conversations. heā€™s going to try to make you feel special in a way that both implies a separation from your peers and a kinship with him. just play dumb.

you can tell your parents that you feel uncomfortable so they can speak to someone about it on your behalf or just provide emotional support for you. i would not go directly to administration with a hard accusation because he probably knows how to skirt the rules and it could end up opening a big can of worms for you without proof of wrongdoing. however, if a teacher is making students feel uncomfortable then thatā€™s worth telling admin. even if they donā€™t have enough to fire him, they can probably put you in a different class. good luck, and if he gives you any gifts or written communication then give it to your parents in case you need it as evidence later.

Author
Account Strength
70%
Account Age
2 years
Verified Email
Yes
Verified Flair
No
Total Karma
2,156
Link Karma
1,492
Comment Karma
664
Profile updated: 11 hours ago

Subreddit

Post Details

We try to extract some basic information from the post title. This is not always successful or accurate, please use your best judgement and compare these values to the post title and body for confirmation.
Posted
2 months ago