Hey there

I’m male, 35 and have been married almost 10 years. For 7 of those years my wife has had a chronic illness that has been getting worse. I love her and I still want to be with her. She’s probably going to have a normal life expectancy but what she is capable of doing is greatly reduced.

Obviously with this all going on our sex life has suffered. We have had sex maybe 10 times in the last 7 years. We had a great sex life before this happened. She says she wants to have sex but she just doesn’t have the physical capacity and energy. She knows I really want sex so has even a few times offered for me to fuck her while she star fishes. I’m honestly so desperate it’s tempting but I know it would cause her pain.

But I also know I can’t suppress my own sexual desires forever. I’ve spoken to my wife about potentially “speaking about what she wishes she could do” so we could have a connection at that level, but her fatigue levels even make that hard. So here I am, I think I need to have a conversation with my wife about me having sex with other women.

I guess I’m looking for guidance on how to have that conversation, but also suggestions on what that could look like. I haven’t dated in over a decade. I’ve never engaged an escort. What could I do and how would it work?