Me and my gf have an amazing sex life. Recently we decided to start really pushing and trying new things in the bedroom. We’ve nailed the rough, hard sex but want to focus more on the slow, purposeful buildup and fulfillment of that “yearning” feeling.

Due to some previous trauma before me she sometimes has a hard time asking for what she wants and being selfish. Communication is not an issue in our relationship or sex life in any other situation, either. She has been wanting to do a night where we focus solely on her, seeing how much she can take with the goal being mind melting bliss and to be spoiled in a way she can’t imagine. This doesn’t mean hard fucking like a sex toy either. She wants to feel safe and cared for in ways she never has along this journey. I am all for this because being honest I enjoy pleasing her than myself most days.

She’s told me talking her through it and praise is a good thing for her to focus on the avoid that “panic attack” feeling of getting overwhelmed and going into the overstimulation in a negative way. I am all for this, going slow and doing hours of teasing and build up, but besides basic praise I never know what to say.

Any advice of how you have gotten yourself past that limit to the goal of just being a melted fulfilled puddle at the end of the night?

Apologies for the erratic nature of this post, I kind of ranted it out and hit post before I changed my mind.