Not really sure where this belongs fr but I'ma try here haha 😅 Okay so small insight to help fill the story: I have a very volatile off and on situation going on with "that" ex and we're kinda in one of those on phases again right now, but each time has further distanced me and this time I feel different about the situation. Tired trick warning whenever we hang and whatever I pay for EVERYTHING and bring any favors we have going, no real issue as this is what I did when we eere actually together. Sometimes we fuck, often times we aren't but still may be intimate or what have you; likewise sometimes I'm simply spending money all day sometimes while we smoke and shop or go experience things. More backstory: as I stated this is THAT ex for me so I really really fw her after it all and still desire her and a relationship, but it's to the point where realistically it couldn't work unless MAJOR shifts happen that I know she won't incorporate and some things just can't be left in the past, however when we fall into our thing, we both get sorta delulu about it and I do especially, Everytime. Lately I've been feeling more of the "this is a waste of time/this will never go anywhere/you'll be blocked again in 2 weeks/you're just wasting hard earned money that could've been better spent/she don't fw you bro" energy and vibe, and it's shifting me to my other mentality. At times, I feel like I'd rather keep the distance and let it fall off as it should and simply keep hustling as I do and just pay for coochie or ass when I want that touch and sexual energy released, than what I have going now where I'm spending 7 coochie dates worth of money in a day or two to MAYBE get some boogie down and mostly just be in a space that doesn't want me there the same as I want to be there. I want to make a proposition to just pay to get down fr guaranteed sometimes and have a full day out of it doing whatever else too (basically an expansive gfe for those familiar) and cut this shit. I've had an ex previously that I would meet with and do something similar but that was strictly a done situation and just fin whereas this woman here I still actually have feelings for, I just come back to reality at times and get on that line of thinking about it.