Hello ARAD! Long time lurker, first time poster. I'm a 30m and have suffered from body image issues most of my life.

Over the past year I've been working on improving my physical appearance, trying to get under a 9 minute mile after barely being able to finish a mile in 15 minutes a year ago and in the past month started incorporating weight lifting. Mentally, I've been working through past traumatic experiences and learning how to accept things I can't physically change about myself... Mainly my dick. It isn't overly small, but I can recognize myself of being in the lower end of average.

I've never had a sexual partner complain about my body or member. However I know the root of my insecurity is from two inappropriate experiences with my parents. Everytime I feel insecure about myself one or both of these instances thrust themselves into the forefront of my mind and consumes me. This had led to instances of anxiety induced ED. For example, I find it incredibly difficult to pleasure myself with my wife watching and encouraging me because I become self conscious.

I've read about practicing mindfulness to assist with the anxiety induced ED; learning to shut out other distractions and to experience/live in the moment. This sounds like a grand idea, however it won't help with my insecurity. I've read about how some people have used sex work/posting online as a way to empower and increase confidence within themselves, but the majority of those experiences are from a woman's perspective, and not a man's...

I would like to hear if there are any men that have had a similar thought as myself and how it played out for them. Women of ARAD, please feel free to chime in as well if you had a similar perspective or have some insight to offer.

TL;DR: 30m suffers from body image issues, wonders if posting online/sex work will improve his self image issues.