Forgive me, I might just be extra thirsty tonight, watching a muse concert as Matt Bellamy flirts with me, but, I digress.

Basically, why are you so fucking sexy? Because the majority of you have a choke-hold on me. I dunno if its the time of the month or what---but here we are.

First off, those hands of yours. Whether you're a musician striking the right chord with those talented fingers, making me imagine what else you could flick so expertly, or a singer pouring all your passion into a microphone, making it seem like it holds all your desires. And don't get me started on you tradesmen. Those rough hands, twisting knobs and bolts, not afraid to get down and dirty – holy shit. Whatever you do, you do it with such effortless style and ease, it's enough to make me melt.

Natural doms, Jesus Christ, where do I start?? God, I'm weak, I'd sink to my knees for anything I swear.

And then there's the way you carry yourself. The way you walk drives me mad. Hands in your pockets, sauntering without a care in the world, or walking with unbeaten confidence – it all makes me crazy. Even if you're shy and less confident, it doesn't matter, because I love the way the fabric of your clothes clings to your muscles. And even if you think you don't have any muscles, trust me, you have more than me. If you're thinking, "Girl, there's just flab," guess what, baby? That drives me wild too. I want that fucking "dad bod" plus that ass is enough to bring me to my knees.

The way you guys all have that fucking goofy ass look on your face before you kiss a girl god, the way you look at our lips before you lean in. Just take me now.

I can't even get started on how sometimes you guys wear fucking pants that outline your cock just right, have you heard about grey sweats?? Oh and when you are horny, the way you tug on it before you unzip sometimes or the way you fucking rock your hips holy shit I'm getting way too explicit sorry about that.

And your voices. fuck your voices, every accent can be sexy in their own way cos you all fucking growl and get all husky when your horny. Shit.

Whyy are you so fucking hot?

Sincerely,

Just a 30 something horny housewife.