Hi 26F. Quick context I grew up with poor self esteem, lost my virginity to a tinder hookup impulsively. A few more hookups that left me feeling ehhh, kinda used. When I was 20 this guy strung me along while he had a gf and broke my spirit for awhile. So I just was taking a break. When I was 22, I was raped by my friend. At that point I hadn’t had sex in 2.5 years and obviously I’ve recover since then. I’m so horny. I think the trauma made me hypersexual but so much pickier with men. I’ve done things such as oral and anal since, so I’m not a saint. I’ve had lots of therapy and I’ve worked on my self. But I haven’t had vaginal sex in over 6 years. I thought I would never want sex again after my rape. Then I told myself next time I have sex it would be with a boyfriend. And ironically I can’t get a boyfriend to save my life. I can’t do hookups or one night stands. I don’t need to be in love but I need chemistry with a guy. I fear I’m wasting my 20s not having sex and more experiences. I’m tired of masturbating. I want to have sex sooo bad but also don’t want to dishonor myself….help.