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Back in July, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He was contacting people through Craigslist NSA, and spent at least 6 weeks having thoroughly inappropriate conversations with numerous women via text and email. There was also a single email from his ex that raised my blood pressure quite a lot. When I confronted him, he swore he'd never even been in the same room with any of the randoms, and when I took it upon myself to email (most of) them, no one would admit to having actually met up with him. Because of this and the fact that he's the father of my child (and a fantastic father at that), I opted to try and work it out rather than call it quits.
We had a month or so that was rough. He left for a week, started lying about things that there was no reason to lie about, started choosing LAN parties with his friends over being at home with our daughter, and just generally acting like a tool. He says now that it was guilt making it impossible for him to come home. He couldn't look at us without feeling awful for what he did, and the very fact that I was willing to forgive and try to move past it felt like it made me too good for him.
He has since done everything in his power to prove to me that he's sorry, he's being faithful, and that all he wants is a life with our daughter and me. The problem is that I can't seem to let it go. I want to, but I just don't know how. I know that it's still fresh, and that time may make it fade and mellow until I'm able to forget, but all I can do right now is dwell on it and nitpick everything he does in my mind. I've forgiven, but how do I forget?
tl;dr - boyfriend cheated, we're working through it, but I just can't seem to get past it.
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- 12 years ago
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