“I’m struggling immensely right now. I left work today because I felt so claustrophobic in my body and I’m being let go, so now I have nothing. I sat on a random bench on a corner crying and asking God why. The existential thoughts are terrorizing me and I feel as though I’ll never be able to return to normal. I can’t imagine possibly coming back from this. I feel so trapped yet detached, and I’m having all of these questions on top of it—“who am I? how am I here? how do I have a body?” It scares me to think I existed peacefully before this, like I just lived and went to school and didn’t question it. I just spoke and walked around and hung out with friends and felt like me. What even is me? I feel uncomfortable in my own skin and feel like I can’t even fathom my existence anymore. I’m terrified. This is the worst it’s ever been. I feel like a stranger in a body—I don’t recognize anything about who I used to be or my old memories. Looking at my body scares me and I feel like I only exist in my mind. I don’t know what to do or if something so severe is even possible to come back from. I can’t even argue with these thoughts anymore because they feel like the truth. I’m not sure why it became so unbearable but I’m so scared. I’m scared of what normal is even going to be. And then on top of that I’m having all of these intrusive suicidal thoughts that feel just as real. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I don’t know if I can get better and feel too scared to even be normal.”