Our daughter is 24 and moved back home in March. She has moved out, moved back, got kicked out, moved back etc etc. She is a hair stylist and has a job. She has no car as she totalled hers. She borrows my car. Actually, she drives it more than me since I work from home. She is eclectic, personable, well-liked. With that being said, I need some advice, She has been following a cycle for many years. She gets a boyfriend, it is serious or LOVE very quickly. Once she gets either comfortable or settled or whatever, she seems to stop dressing up nice, stops doing her makeup as much and gains weight. For one reason or another, they break up. She is down for just a bit, gets back out there with friends, loses the weight, starts looking great again....then gets a boyfriend.....and the cycle repeats..

She seems to adopt interests based on whoever she is dating at the time. Things she stated she wants to do....she quits. She signed up for roller derby....never skates. She bought some electronic drums, I found her free online course and she never took it. This boy likes to cook, likes homemade meals so now she is trying new recipes...she has NEVER shown ANY interest in cooking. Once this cycle moves on, I have zero doubt that she will stop cooking and stop asking me to buy new kitchen/cooking shit.

She is a talented hair stylist...bright colors, crazy designs, etc. She originally talked about following a path to really advance into the crazy creative side of hair. Now, she works at a stying place...only drying and styling hair...no cuts, no color, no originality. She even turned down a job at a trendy salon where she would be making 70k! She's making 11/her now. Says she doesn't really know why except it was a 'gut feeling.

She doesn't save money, spends wrecklessly......but I have always helped her. I realize now that I have enabled her, spoiled her, treated her as a friend....her dad is and always has been the disciplinarian...I am always keeping the peace, defending her etc. I have never made her accountable for anything.

Over the years, as I have realized recently, she doesn't take our advice, doesn't listen to suggestions, etc. I realize now she just has no respect for our wisdom, our opinions....however, she cleans the house, takes care of the dogs, will run errands for me, bring us home starbucks...I mean she can be really thoughtful. Overall, I am sure she comes across to others as well spoken, charismatic, independent and strong.

She moans and groans getting up in the am. She gets frustrated at shit, and when her dad asked this morning about making sure she keeps water in my car radiator ( discovered leak a week ago) she got all snippy, talked back. Raised her voice and overall disrespected him for the LAST time. We want her to move out. Enabling her like this is not teaching her anything and will eventually be a huge downfall.

How much time do I give her? Dad says now, I was thinking a month or so, someone else said Jan 30. We think if she finally had tonfend for herself she might discover who she is, take ownership of her life, and move forward.

Can I please have some thoughts, opinions, ideas? BTW she comes across as an awesome person, mature, got her shit together, empowered chick....nut she isn't .