When I (30m) read about parenting young children on the internet, I always see some comments from people who make it sound like a hellish experience. They say that you hardly sleep. They say you won't have time for date nights with your partner and you won't have time to socialize with friends or to devote to hobbies. I read one person just today who said if you're lucky you'll have time to hang out with friends for a couple hours once per month. Some say to not expect to have much if any sex until 1-1.5 years after the child is born, which means if you have two kids that's essentially 2-3 years (or more) without regular sex with your partner. Many people also say that the early years take a large toll on your relationship in general, even beyond the sex.

On the other hand, I know that this is the internet, and people with negative experiences are much more likely to speak up. I know raising a young child is hard and tiring, but I have a hard time believing it's that miserable, assuming you're in a committed relationship and have a support system in place. For example, I don't see why it wouldn't be possible to carve out one or two evenings a week for each partner to see friends while the other stays home to watch the baby. Or for another example, other couples claim to resume having sex within 2-3 months post-partum.

I'm 95% sure I want to have a couple of children in the future. But that 5% of doubt is due to my worries about how horrible some people make the early years sound. Is this a case of a vocal minority creating a skewed picture? Or is it really that bad for most parents?