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28
How to stop hoping and checking my phone for her messages?
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It's not really final yet na wala na kami. Ayaw ko lang umasa na ilalaban pa namin dahil parang ayaw naman na niya.

Nakakalungkot dahil akala ko, magkakaroon na kami ng oras para sa aming dalawa. Sobra yung pangungulila ko nitong mga nakaraang araw ngunit di ko na ata pala maririnig muli ang boses niya't mga tawa.

And I wanna push forward kahit mahirap. Medyo nasasanay naman na at kinakaya kahit simula palang. Ayaw ko sana. Pero wala akong choice. Kailangan kong kayanin. Pero di nawawala yung pagiyak nang sobra. Minsan naman ay lugmok habang ginagawa yung mga kailangang gawin gaya ng mga gawaing bahay at pagaaral.

Gusto kong sanayin sarili ko na wala na siya, na wala na akong sasabihan ng mga bagay, na wala na akong go to person, na wala na yung bestfriend ko.

Ang hirap pero ayoko namang pilitin siya na piliin niya ako, kami. That would be unfair to her and to me as well. Mahal na mahal ko siya pero wala akong laban kung ayaw na niya, kung di niya na gustong sumugal sa amin.

Anyway, sorry sa dami ng aking sinabi. Kung may advice at mga tips kayo to healthily cope, please do share. I hope we'd be kind to one another.

Salamat.

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1 year ago