Please don’t look up my post history - It’s all sex based, and I’m thinking now it’s because my attitudes got a bit messed up by a Pedophile.

Back in primary school I had a teacher groom me and a bunch of ‘special’ kids.

He was the Vice Principal so not a teacher but set up a ‘special class’ for ‘special kids’ in an old storeroom.

Special classes went on.

My dad worked away on the mines, he knew that. He offered to teach me how to fish at his holiday home 50km from the city on the weekend - I was to stay over at his holiday home with him for the weekend.

I remember asking my mum about should I - she wasn’t opposed, but I said nah I won’t go, I don’t like fishing.

Next after this, the Vice Principal got me alone in the empty storeroom and was trying to talk me into staying at his place when I said I wasn’t interested in fishing.

He also started on about some touching feeling good and stuff like that to which I blurted out ‘my dad will cut your head off’ to which he ended the convo and we left the room.

He then wasn’t as friendly to me which as a 11 year old (?) confused me and made me sad.

Anyways, fast forward a year, I’m in high school - mum shows me a newspaper article about him hanging himself in the holiday home because a mum complained to the police about him SAing her boy.

Looking back on this, even though I wasn’t SA physically, that’s some bad stuff that’s effected my relationships and friendships ever since.

I have trouble making and keeping friends, I’m a problem drinker, all 3 of my adult cohabitation relationship partners have been extremely FDV abusive towards me, I have trouble trusting people in public and work. Depression.

I’ve actually always thought I was a bit mentally unwell re being paranoid about people, their motivations, but since thinking about the Pedophile, I think the grooming I went though is the issue.

Any advice? I’m in Australia.