I am a female who was diagnosed with autism at the age of 27 but I relate to some aspects of npd and am confused . I have fluctuating empathy, and it’s rare that I experience affective empathy and if I do it’s usually for strangers or animals. I feel like the world is awful and stupid and I dislike feeling forced to do normal life things like work a boring job or abide by made up social rules that are in reality pointless. I feel a bit more stable in my sense of self than my younger years but I still feel like I put on whatever version of myself is needed for each situation. I feel like I’m faking interactions majority of the time. I enjoy talking during conversations but I don’t know how not to talk about myself or my own experiences and I honestly would be okay if others didn’t share their experiences but only talked about what I’m talking about. I only have the ability to think and act from my own perspective and other peoples emotions and thoughts usually need to be explained to me for me to even recognize they are having thoughts or feelings that differ from my own. I have huge trouble keeping other people in mind. I also have always felt like some alien compared to my peers and like there’s just something about me that cannot fully connect to people. Like I’m constantly disconnected from everyone even when interacting. I seek constant reassurance that I’m not the worst things my head thinks up about myself as well. I also lie in conversations to be relatable if I don’t know what to say, I repeat stories I’ve heard from others and I have been known to exaggerate to make conversation more interesting. Most interactions feel like a dance back and forth for me and I’m trying to be the best dance partner and hide the fact that I don’t really know how to dance or care about their side. I do care for my family though. Sorry this is long, just curious if you have any thoughts about all of this?