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how would you tell your girlfriend you didn't like the kinds of *pictures* she sends? how would you want her to respond?
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i have a weird history with nudes, so i don't do it often. it's too vulnerable for me for a lot of reasons, and it can bring up a lot of insecurities. but because i did it for my ex, my boyfriend was pretty insistent that it was important i did it for him too. so, i do sometimes, when i feel confident enough i think a little bit of criticism won't break me. i sent him a couple today, and i was honestly pretty happy with them. i had some issues (i always do) but i was overall happy with what i liked. i had thought about things he'd said in the past (progression of pictures kind of telling a story, enough skin that it's a nude and not just a vaguely scandalous picture, etc.) i sent them to him when we were on the phor く and he responded with "huh you do take nud weird." now, i know i shouldn't have pushed. but i did, because i genuinely want to send things he enjoys looking at, and if they aren't good, they aren't good and i should fix it. he basically said i was just taking a normal selfie but i happened to be naked, and i needed to focus more on emphasizing certain features.

i held it together for the rest of the conversation, but when it died out and was quiet for a little bit, i couldn't keep myself together. I'm not proud of it, but i kind of broke down and cried. i brushed it off as a long day and overwhelmed about other things, but im genuinely devastated. i don't know what im doing wrong. he suggested i look up "snapchat girls nudes" and i did, but i don't have the right features for those poses (or ive already done them?). i tried to get more information about what he wanted, but he just wants me to try it. i don't know what im supposed to be trying, and i don't know if i should tell him how hurt i am that the first thing out of his mouth wasn't even "oh thanks i got them" but "you send nudes weird." he says that i put him in a weird situation where i want feedback but then can't handle it, so i don't want to go crying to him about how his feedback hurt me and shut him down that way. so how should i respond here? im dreading the next time he asks for pictures because im so scared im going to wind up spending 20 minutes trying to get something like what he sent me its going to end up failing again. but i dont We bother him with this-so should i just take tons ut pictures before he asks and then pick the best ones? should i bring this up or just leave it? how would you go about telling her this, knowing that its probably really sensitive for a lot of people? how would you want her to respond?

add on: i should add that the first time i pushed for more details, he tried to backtrack and say "idk im just happy to be here" so i don't want it to seem like he's being a jerk or anything. i definitely pushed him into explaining what he meant by weird, and i know that's on me. i should have it well alone, and i will next time (even though, know it'll eat at me that im doing something wrong, it's better than having this whole conversation and still not knowing what to do)

full disclosure: i also posted this on askmenadvice, so if you’re on both, sorry.

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2 months ago