I (f 30s) recently started dating a friend of mine (m 40s)…we’ll call him Sam. Sam and I have been friends for many years and I had a long term relationship with one of our mutual friends, Bob. Sam acknowledged that he and Bob were already “eskimo brothers” even before me…but jokes that now they are double brothers.

So…here’s the thing. Over the years I have hooked up with other guys in our friend group. Most just once. Although Sam and I are close and have talked about our dating and sex lives openly, I never told Sam about these other encounters bc…various reasons. Partially I was a a little embarrassed. Partially I was trying to be discreet (in some cases the guy and I agreed to keep it a secret). Partially bc it just didn’t seem all that important.

But now it feels like maybe I should disclose it. Not telling Sam feels like withholding info. And I’d rather him hear it from me than someone else. Not that I think it’s likely anyone would say anything. But…you never know. But on the other hand, none of the hookups were all that important in the grand scheme of things. And it’s not like I’m asking Sam to disclose every partner he’s had…so maybe I shouldn’t offer up this info.

What do you think? If you were Sam would you want to know that your long time friend turned romantic partner had been intimate with a few of your friends?