Recently found out that my partner tried to meet up with a sex worker a few months ago. Based on the messages I saw and what he told me, it did not end up happening. He says he realized it was a mistake but I also think it was more money than he wanted to spend.

He says this was the first and only time he tried to do this…but I’m not sure I believe him.

He specifically was trying to have anal sex…which is something I’ve never done. He says that to him anal is something you do with someone you don’t care about…so he doesn’t want to do it with me.

We’ve been together about 5 years (mf 30s) and our sex life is very infrequent (la few times a year). I have told him for years this bothers me and we have had many talks and fights about it. We’ve done couples therapy in the past and he now sees an individual counselor. We are planning to return to couples counseling.

Full disclosure. I found out about this bc of snooping on his phone. I’m not proud of this but I am glad to know the truth.

I feel like my trust in him has been shattered. I don’t know what to believe. Do you think that trust can be rebuilt?

I’ve told him if we move forward, we have to have 100% honesty going forward. He seems hesitant bc he’s worried how I’ll react…but I’ve told him I’d rather be hurt by the truth than hurt by a lie.