So basically, she used to have a dog that she gave to her mom cause she couldn't take care of him. Her mom loves that dog. Recently the dog became sick and her mom was understandably despondent and very heartbroken. Chances are he will live on for a while but it's definitely confirmation that he's getting older and isn't as healthy as he used to be.

It's felt like my gf has been dropping a lot of hints that she wants me to spend money to fly to her mom and see the dog, like "I sure wish my dog could see her brother before he passes away...", and "oh I really wish I could be there to help my mom...". So I said pretty explicitly "are you saying you want to go?", and she said yes, but followed with "but it's expensive". It felt like she was nudging me with "you should pay for it"

I felt this in the past too. For example, I drive a shitbox of a car but I don't care because it works. She would frequently push me to get a new car, and not just any car, but a Tesla. I could easily afford it, but to me a car is a liability. I'm not spending money on something that just plummets in value if I don't have to. The money would be better put towards investments or a house. Similarly, she always pushes me to get a more expensive apartment, or move to a high floor in our high rise (extremely expensive). I ask if she's gonna put any towards rent and she just kinda says no and drops the subject. She's explained that since she's always been poor, the idea of these new shiny things is appealing to her. I explain that it's an easy way to STAY poor if you keep pursuing material liabilities that depreciate in value

I feel like kind of an asshole cause I do get it, one of your dogs passing is just the worst feeling. But at the same time, I've been telling her for months, almost endlessly, that she needs to start saving more money. Her budgeting was incredibly poor and I felt she was living a terribly unsustainable lifestyle. When this came, I recommended maybe we just split the airfare 3 ways -- her mom, me, and her. It wouldn't be much if we did that. I find out that she can't even afford that.

Now I wanna tell her frankly, this is her own fault. She had months to save an emergency fund but chose not to, so this should serve as a lesson that she needs to start being more responsible. I'm not here to bail her out when she needs it.

On the other hand I feel like I'm being a bit of a dick to everyone else involved. She won't get to see her dog and that's really sad. Her mom is very sad about her dog.

Am I being an asshole in this situation?