Hi, I(18M) have a loving caring girlfriend and family in general.but i never felt comfortable opening up to them about any of my problems it could be because my dad who is a sort of role model for me I never saw him openning up either regardless I feel my feelings are worthless and are meant to be shaved aside whenever me and my girlfriend have an argument her feelings are always the priority or else the argument never ends which is fine I am willing to deal with but sometimes it feels like I am getting bullshited from everyone , and my self esteem is declining day by day I have abused drugs in past (mostly nicotine and marijuana) but built a stronger willpower over the years but lately I feel like relapsing to them again.