How do you change your mind when you feel like youre sabotaging yourself? I hate my looks and appearance. I feel so ugly sometimes I just think I’ll die alone one day. I don’t find anything entertaining I just smoke the day away and become fine with being bored and rotting. I don’t care about myself to where I don’t change my habits or feel confident about anything about my appearance. Sure haircuts change appearance but I feel like I look ugly both with long or cut hair. Im always fixated on something wrong with my appearance. I don’t love myself either I just feel like I have no ambition and there is nothing I want to be. I’m stuck constantly always smoking I don’t know how to comfort myself or how to know I’ll be okay because I never feel fine. I also have a “porn addiction” I don’t really go on porn sites it’s more so escort service sites because I feel like it would be easier for me to see myself with an escort than finding a fulfilling relationship but the fact that I’m 22 and still struggle talking to attractive women is what eats away at me. I just feel undesirable because I’ve never had a girlfriend or even felt what it’s like to be “loved”. At the core I know what I want is connection but I feel so lost in translation I feel like I don’t understand what I feel. In a sense I feel alone because I can’t even find one good thing about myself to feel confident about.