Husband and I married in our mid-30s and now, in our mid-40s, we’re facing a bit of a midlife crisis. Our first few years together were incredibly difficult, with a complex family dynamic that made having a child seem completely out of the question. My husband became distant and stopped having sex with me—it was a very hard time, and bringing a child into the mix would have felt completely irresponsible, also impossible, especially given the lack of intimacy.

I was also on the fence for reasons outside of lack of intimacy and didn’t want one till conditions were ideal. We eventually worked through our issues, and things have improved, but we decided against a child in the end. This was about 7 years ago

Few years ago my husband found himself in bit of a mid life crisis and with therapy realized he may have wanted a child after all, but feels like I made that choice for both of us. I told him how he should have spoken up that time if he really wanted one . Given I am decidedly CF now , he should leave and find someone he could have a child with, but he responded that he ‘could have imagined having a child, not that he wanted one.’ He convinced me that he’d rather spend his life with me than have a child with someone else. It’s been a couple of years since but I have a nagging feeling his MLC is bigger than he makes it out to be . Childfree men of this forum , do you relate ? Any advice on how can I help my husband navigate this phase ? Who perhaps saw kids as an eventuality but wakes up 20 years too late living a life of little meaning and purpose since his upbringing didn’t allow him to see beyond.