Thank you everyone in advance for taking the time to read my story aand situation aand giving me advice.

Me, my fiancé and our son (he is a stepfather, not biological, but I digress) had an apartment together in a great neighborhood. He’s still there, but me and my son are not, as my family is fed up of our lives and stability being in constant jeopardy which I couldn’t blame them for.

My fiancé, or whatever we are now because I am still not sure (my brain and my heart are in a battle it feels), has a terrible addiction to being on his phone constantly. He lives and breathes with an EarPod shoved in his ear at all times, he absolutely cannot go without some sort of stimulation of his choice, always. I’ve complained and complained about it, but the arguments never brought any sort of real results. My fiancé had a job at a factory- 22$ an hour that was going to help us so much with finances.

In a week he was fired for his attitude and his phone.

He was almost fired from a McDonald’s for vaping on the floor and being on his phone with his earbud a lot. His old boss is my best friend, she told me a week before he quit that they were looking to fire him. Then by the grace of God he got another factory job….and this past weekend he lost it.

His line leader asked him to at least put the phone on a continuous song playlist, and he plain told her, “I don’t want to f****** do that!” And then was appalled when he lost his job. My mother and father are tired of me going through the heartbreak and me and our son being jeopardized in our stability because of his behavior. I don’t blame them.

All of this I’m telling you makes it seem black and white for an answer, but the problem is that I love him. I try to be a godly woman and give forgiveness and I love him- but I’m also heartbroken that he thought so little of us that he just gave up his family and stability for some Spotify song.

Im almost thirty and I am ashamed to say that my pattern of picking men has been absolutely horrible. And now, my heart is in the hands of a man who only NOW wants to put all of his effort, yet I’m heartbroken and feel worse than I have ever before. My family is split, being away from him hurts. My family has a farm that we were all moving to, and I still am with my son- I’m very blessed to say that my parents are very financially stable and want to take care of us.

Im an autistic woman and cannot work a 40 hour shift week job, but I’m hoping that after getting some professional mental help, this will change, and I can be much better.

I guess what I’m asking is, I want insight. Do I stay? Do I leave? Im ashamed to say that at almost 30 years old I keep forgetting what I should truly ask from a real man. Every time I’ve put myself in the dating world I slowly slip into settling without realizing it.

I just feel shame. And hurt. And heartbroken.