I’m asking this question here because I’m about to start my PhD in English Literature (3 year) and like any person stuck in lockdown, I’m beginning to wonder if I will be up to the task. My main concern comes from the fact that unlike other students who have gone into PhD, I do not have much research experience that one would get from an MPhil. I have only done an MA by coursework with a tiny dissertation written. So going through one of the self-audit documents that are recommended for doctoral students to check out, I found that there are no ‘skills’ that I possess. Apart from close reading and Marxist Literary Theory, I really am not good at anything (not that I’m an expert in Marxist Criticism either). On top of that, I have zero teaching experience, which I think will be remedied once I become a GTA in my second year. But it feels like I’m extremely disadvantaged when it comes to starting research. Neither am I published anywhere, nor have I presented at conferences. As a 29 year old, I am really scared by the prospect of failing at something that I love more than anything else in the world. I know academia is already a long shot for Literature PhDs, but I feel like my dream has ended before I can even begin to imagine it or work towards it.

So here’s my question (more of a call for help and assurance): will I be alright? Or do I need to stop kidding myself and wasting my time to try to be something I can’t be?

Thank you. Stay safe, folks.