For context I am a 22 male passing but trans-non-binary person. I present in every way as a man except my hair which is long and always in a bun. I work in deep west Texas every week, so I never introduce myself as non-binary or using they/them pronouns out of fear.

I went out to Twin Peaks for a few drinks alone because that’s just what I do when I’m out of town for work. The waitress (id guess was 20-25) was nice and fun like how they usually are, and in no way did I attempt or have I ever attempted to flirt or try to hit on my servers. They are working and I see it as wildly inappropriate.

Anyways, she waited on me and was nice and one point leaned on the table and really started talking to me. Not about food or drink but like she was working for the tip/just being friendly. I also mentioned a few times I was married, and that my wife didn’t see me going to twin peaks as a bad thing. We continued to talk after that. I was friendly back and explained what I was doing in town and why I was here. I also explained why I was waiting around til 10pm to leave. The lotto went off at 10pm.

She left and came back a couple of times and started asking me about the lotto. At 9:55 she comes and sits down at my table and starts talking for a few minutes.

Here’s the kicker… she said she really likes talking to me and asks if she can get my snap and asks if i wanted to hang out after she gets off at 2 or whatever with the phrase “not like a date, just as platonic friends.” She also mentioned her a boyfriend a couple times in convo. Well I of course give her my snap but said no I can’t hang out tonight, but tomorrow night if she doesn’t work I’d be down. She said she didn’t work and that we could go to her preferred bar. My Snapchat name is presented as my name and my pronouns they/them.

She left off after I found out I didn’t hit the lottery to take care of a different table and I finished my drink and started to leave but came up to her and said “hey I’m gonna go but will I see you tomorrow?” And she said “yes! I’ll message you!”

I sent her a message that next day around 6pm when I got off work and she never responded. Obviously you don’t go out for drinks that early but…

I’m just curious what y’all think happened? Did I throw any red flags out? Did I do the wrong thing by messaging? It’s hard to make friends as adults, so this felt like a godsend. Just for it not to happen.

Edit: I should mentioned I had already paid the bill and left a 35% tip, which is the usual for me because I try to appreciate service industry, BEFORE she asked me for my snap. And she saw and took the ticket away also.