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Advice needed with a difficult sibling
Hi all, need a bit of advice about my brother who is causing me a lot of stress as of late. My brother is younger than me at 27 years of age and has been causing myself and others in my close family problems for a few years now.
He has always had anger issues throughout his life and used to get into fights etc. He hit the bottle hard a few years back and my mother has had him in and out of rehab centres and psych units trying to help him. She’s put down deposit after deposit and even paid his rent on multiple properties (he’s been kicked out of every room he’s ever rented due to antisocial behaviour and drinking).
In between one of these stints he came back to live with my mother but she felt incredibly uncomfortable with his aggressive mood swings and he actually squared up to her once in anger. He has a history of beating women and has done this to the last 2 women he’s dated. My mother (and I) are absolutely petrified that he’d beat her if he were to move back in here.
He’s also banned from most pubs and a good amount of hotels and shops for theft. He’s been arrested a few times but only stayed the night in a cell. I have no doubt that he’s going to continue this sort of behaviour unlesss something drastically changes in his life.
This has all come to a head this weekend. He’s on the dole and somehow managed to get to Amsterdam last week. He rang myself and my mother 2 days ago saying he had ran out of money and was stuck in Amsterdam and asking if we could buy him a same day ticket home. She ended up spending 600-700 euro on getting him home and getting him a hotel for the night. He landed home and rang us saying that his landlord had kicked him out once again and that he has nowhere to go. I think he’s expecting my mother to take him back in but she’s absolutely terrified of him.
So as of tonight he’s officially homeless. I feel absolutely gutted but I have absolutely no idea what I should do to help him. I’m terrified that if he moves into my home house that my mother will be at the brunt of his anger but I’m also worried about him dying on the streets. Any advice on how he could get shelter would be greatly appreciated thank you all in advance.
All behaviour happens for reasons: normally deeply embedded, frequently repressed issues. These need to be explored in an environment where your brother feels unjudged, well-regarded, empathised with
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