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Office party incident - is it my place to report this?
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Hi, im a man who works at a start-up of around 100 people. We have offices in 2 cities. We barely interact with people in the office from the other city. I work in city A which has like 15 people while the other city B has the rest.

Over the weekend, we had a planned office outing to a resort. Me and 7 other women were the ones who were coming from city A. City b had around 40 people, mostly men.

Over the night, everyone got very drunk and we were nicely vibing and dancing. During this, a man from city B behaved extremely inappropriately with my female colleagues (touching them, calling them beautiful, trying to kiss their hands, staring constantly, asking me to ask them to dance with him, trying to move his face towards theirs while dancing). My colleagues tolerated this for a while, but eventually I asked him to stay away because he was making the women uncomfortable. He went away for a minute and came back again. At this point, one of my colleagues snapped at him and asked him to stay away. Everyone was drunk, so nobody noticed it. We eventually spoke to a manager from city B and our CEO, who was also there. We didn't know anyone from city B and this guy knew that I was the only man these ladies knew, and he was 100% trying to take advantage of that. I have not been in this situation ever, so at first I had absolutely no idea how to react to this.

For the next few hours, the manager and CEO spent their entire energy trying to stop him from approaching us. He was trying that for approximately 2 hours, it was very evident. Eventually, I think people from city B's office forced him to sleep it off. We were stunned at the fucking gall of this guy to still try approaching us even when 2 senior and 4-5 other guys specifically told him not to and were trying to stop for 2 fucking hours.

This was clearly a very uncomfortable experience for my colleagues. The manager and CEO were very apologetic, but the CEO chalked it off to him being drunk and said that he'll talk to him in the morning, which I don't think he did. The next day, he did not even apologize. There was no HR present because both of them could not be there due to personal reasons.

I asked my colleagues if they're going to write about this to HR, but they said that they don't want to cause a scene. I know the right thing is to respect their wishes, but somehow it also does not sit right with me that the man will just get away, won't even get a slap on the wrist and probably won't even be asked to do a training or anything helpful about harassment. I am not sure if writing to HR will make any difference either (though both the HRs are women).

What should I do here? Is it my place to report this? Should I ask my colleagues to think about reporting this? Will anything even happen?

Edit : My brain was not even capable of processing the fact that reporting this will cause problems to my colleagues (as one of the commenters pointed out). I won't be reporting this incident since my colleagues aren't comfortable doing it.

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Indian Man

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Posted
3 weeks ago