I’m a 25 recent college graduate, currently pursuing a Masters in HR. My bachelors is in Sociology and I have an HR certification from the community college in my area.

I was referred by a family friend, we’ll call her “F” (who works in another department for this same company) to apply for an entry level Talent Acquisition Coordinator. My resume was forwarded to the recruiter that we’ll call “R” (who does not work in the same building as I would possibly be working in) and a few days later I was called in for an interview. The time line is as follows....

Feb 21: the initial interview with two people that I would be working with on a daily basis “A”, who is the department supervisor and “B” another department employee. It went GREAT and we even talked about other things we had in common outside of work.

Feb 22: Since I’ve only been in contact with “R” and do not have “A” or “B”’s contact info, I did the “thank you for the interview” letter to “R” but did send an attachment to be forwarded to A&B, thanking them for their time also.

MINUTES after submitting the email, R emails me and tells me to call her. I call her and she says A&B love me and during that phone call we set up my salary, I was told where to give my permission for background & she even gave me a start date (background pending of course but I knew the background was clean).

About an hour after that call, R calls again and asks me to come back and talk to the HR business partner of the company, we’ll call her “H”. This had me confused cause R already gave me a verbal offer but then is asking me to keep interviewing? But regardless, R did say they were still proceeding with the process even though I would be meeting with H that next day.

Feb 23: I interviewed with H and it went very well. H told me she would get with A&B (the ladies I met with in the first interview) to set up an time for me to talk to one of the head bosses of the company, we’ll call her “M”. Again I was confused because of the phone call I had received the day prior but then I’m being asked to go through all these other people. Being that this was a Friday, I didn’t expect to hear back about meeting with M until the next week.

The week of Feb 26: Monday I reached out to R telling her the meeting with H went well and that I was waiting to hear about a time for me to meet with M. I didn’t hear back from R until that Wednesday who informed me M was out of town that week and they would get back to me next week. I was also told they would push back my start date for this reason so that I was able to give a two week with my current employer.

The week of March 5: that Tuesday I hadn’t heard anything back about M being back from out of town so I reached out to R again who told me that they would be getting with M THAT DAY to discuss “hiring needs” and that they would get back to me by the end of the week.

This is really where my concerns jumped up. You gave me a verbal offer, salary, start date etc and now you’re evaluating the need of it?!?! But I stayed calm and hoped to hear back from them by the end of the week like I was told they would.

The week of March 12. There was never contact by the end of the prior week, so I reached out to R again and asked for the update I was promised. She told me she had emailed A (the department supervisor whom I met with the first interview) for a timeline and that she hadn’t responded to her email and that we were now waiting on that response.

This is when I began to think R isn’t being honest in this process. As mentioned I was referred by a family friend “F”. Throughout this process, F has told me A&B keep asking about me and my start date, they can’t wait for me to start and even call me, “my S****”. They told F I’m the one they want to hire and stopped interviewing after me. Etc.

Okay so with R, we went from, we’re trying to get ahold of the “head boss”, to I’m waiting to hear back from the dept supervisor who is obviously much lower on the ladder? But also, knowing that F is saying A&B can’t wait for me to start, I’m having a hard time believing that R emailed A, and A isn’t responding to R’s email about me. If you’re anxious for a candidate to start in your department, you’re not going to ignore an email that concerns them. R knows that F referred me, but I don’t think she knows that I know as much as I do thus making her comfortable enough to tell me whatever she wants.

This week will be a month since my initial interview and we aren’t any closer than where we started. To top it off I have a vacation planned in three weeks. I let A&B know about this vacation and they were totally cool with it (cause we all assumed I would be hired by now). Due to the timing of this and the vacation, if everything gets solved this week and I get an official offer and put in a two week notice at my current employer, that two weeks ends during my vacation which means I can’t start for technically THREE WEEKS! I also have to relocate there and would like to move before summer starts due to rates being higher Because everyone moves in the summer time. But I’m not moving there unless I get that job.

It’s all a mess. It’s all confusing and crazy. Pretty disappointed by what seems is R’s unprofessional behavior in this matter. Being that we are going on a month with this mess, what would you do? Do I keep reaching out? How do I demand a timeline?

I don’t feel comfortable in just walking away cause I wanna get my foot in the door in the HR field AND F has really stuck her neck out for me to get this job, I don’t wanna let her down. But the anxiety this situation has given me is so old and unnecessary.

Any advice? Tips? What would you do?