Do you guys think I will get fired?

Hi, I’m going under investigation over a comment I made to a coworker. I don’t wanna play martyr or anything, I just wanna share my story and hopefully prevent others from making a similar mistake. My consequences will come once the investigation is over and I’ll have to deal with the repercussions.

For context, I work as a Behavioral Analyst that works with adults with disabilities. We try to integrate them into the community setting, teach life skills, and help them find jobs or volunteer opportunities if they want them. I identify as Gay, I am neurodivergent, and mental health awareness and support is something that means a lot to me.

I have this Co-worker who is kind of like Stanley, from the show, The Office. I’ll also refer to him as Stanley for the sake of the story. Stanley is someone who can be a little sassy, will joke around with others, calls the work place a circus, and will often be rolling his eyes at something but pretty much just wants to get through the work day without drama. I’ve never known him to have any issues with me and I don’t treat him any differently than anyone else.

The office is full of beautiful kind souls who are here for a common goal. They are my work family and I’ve gotten comfortable talking about my personal life and flaws that I’m working on. I feel I have amazing rapport with all my coworkers and I feel comfortable joking around with them but most always, I do my best to express kindness and respect.

On Tuesday, Stanley, came in with the most amazing looking Salad. It was a big Caesar Salad. I complimented that Salad and asked him where he got it. Being the sassy guy that he is, he replies, “why do you wanna know about my salad?” I take this as him being playful.

Stupidly, I reply, “well I just wanted to know who tossed your salad”. 🤦🏻‍♂️ I didn’t mean to insinuate anything, I thought I was being playful by taking a phrase that’s a double entendre but actually using its literal interpretation. It was a really delicious looking salad 😞.

He replied, “I’m gonna need you to stop making innuendos at me”.

I replied, “I’m sorry” but he wasn’t having it and walked into his office. I was also there with another coworker. I asked her to come into my office and asked her, “is he being serious, do you think he’s really mad?” She confirmed that he was definitely mad.

The work place has been very queer friendly to me. I don’t know what Stanley’s sexual orientation but my stupid comment was never intended to target it. I thought I was in a playful environment, I played around and now I’m finding out.

Near the end of the day I sent him this email:

[I wanted to make a personal apology to you regarding my comment today. I feel that I overestimated our rapport with one another, and in doing so, I made a comment that was in poor taste without realizing how it would affect you. I meant no malintent and I feel deeply ashamed for how I must have made you feel, especially for all you have done to support and advocate for me. If you have time, I would like to make this apology to you in person, however, if you do not feel comfortable doing so, I absolutely understand. From now on, I promise nothing but professional and respectful communication with you. Thank you for being the supportive and great person that you are and I will use this interaction as an opportunity to grow and be a better co-worker to you and others.]

Today, Friday, I receive an email from my boss saying that a “complaint” was made against me and that it will be investigated.

Please be careful what you say around people and don’t assume you’re cool with everyone.