This has been weighing on my chest for a long time. So i'm a full time sex worker (escorting, twitter/onlyfans) and I am fairly successful I'd say. The problem is there is this disconnect that fucks with my mental fairly often. I feel like I am fairly attractive, I mean I have made a living off of my looks. (I'd say a 7-8/10 to be bluntly honest) However, on grindr so often I cannot land a single hook up and it just makes me feel terrible. I'm aware how toxic it is that so much of my identity/career/success/mood comes from my looks/sexual life, but I can't divorce it as it's such an integrated part of my life. Sometimes I can bag what I'd consider very attractive/hot hookups but the days where I'm for lack of a better word "fiending" and unable to find anything my self esteem goes to the dumps.

Now for the racism part. I am asian, and have lived/worked through the experience of being asian in America's western beauty standards. But it also just hurts when I'm with friends/acquaintances who are White/latino/black and see their grindr get 10x as much attention as mine. I try not to cry 'racism' or whatever, because I grown past the "woe is me" mentality and I am truly happy with myself and my culture. In addition to that, nobody likes "that guy" when it comes to race issues/preference, and I know ranting to someone is not going to change their mind.

Not really sure if i'm looking for advice specifically. I guess just ranting a bit and maybe trying to hear similar experiences and some other's perspectives on the situation.

Additional information: Yes i have other hobbies outside of sex and what i'd consider a "normal" social life. My entire life does not revolve around my job/work. Located in midwest (chicago) but I have experiences similar in many different areas across the US.