back in the olden days (lmao) i used to hookup, and if i did not hear back / see the person ever again, it just became a memory and i moved on. it still felt a little special finding a hot guy on grindr or the like to hookup with as i felt like 'he picked me' in some way to spent that hour or whatever with which was nice.

i generally don't watch porn, but with the OF taking off, and so many bros having accounts, i now see a number of guys i had sex with on there banging hotties (usually i find out via twitter thats how i know), but also all sorts of other guys. no shame on anyone, but like it kinda kills the special feeling i had, even though it was obviously in my head.

i may never find loved one / relationship, but seeing a hottie who 'chose you' banging some meh guy is just a super turn off and kills something inside of me (only for those i met personally). i guess it just reinforces the fact the hookup was nothing and makes me a bit sad. i get they are doing it for subscribers, money etc but it still bites.

being a poc and seeing the especially white (no offence) dudes literally shag anyone else white (not attractive, if they are banging another hottie, i don't get this feeling lmao), but still nit pick and 'hesitate' at my profile (despite my profile ticking the boxes even just superficially) still baffles and saddens me and reminds me of the actual limit to my options/chances (something i was oblivious to with the old setup).

anyone else experienced this or empathize with the feeling?

p.s. yes, this is why i avoid social media, but sometimes i slip.