For those of you like me, who are currently unpartnered, there is a lot of toxic positivity out there, like, “Everyone has a special someone out there” or, “you’ll meet your match once you _______.”

This is nonsense, and clinging to such ideas will drive you crazy and make you miss out on your life.

Of course, we’re all born whole, enough, and worthy of love. We all deserve to be treated with love and respect by others, and we all deserve a partner who will love us unconditionally. Nothing toxic about any of that, but here comes the hard part…

You may draw your last breath before you meet your special person.

Ouch. That’s a hard pill to swallow, but consider for a moment how paradoxically liberating that thought is.

Pining away for some Prince Charming, scrolling endlessly through dating apps, and trying to be noticed at the local Gay watering hole all take energy. Energy that can be refocused. It’s up to you.

You are all you have right now, and quite possibly forever. Ouch again, but you can choose not to put your life on hold looking for companionship as an end in itself.

Lean into the thought exercise of, “How would I spend my remaining days if I knew with certainty that I will be single forever?” Be with that idea for a while- let it really sink in. Then make a list and get busy.

All that love and attention you wish you could lavish on someone else? Give it to yourself because you’re worthy right now. Don’t you deserve it?

Lots of single people live rich, fulfilling lives. Be one of them.

It’s ok to be hopeful, it’s ok to put yourself out there and meet people, but be mindful about how much energy you want to devote to that. After all, you have places to see, things to do, skills to learn, and pleasures to experience!

No one is entitled to a partner, but continuing to live a full life while working on yourself makes you a more attractive prospect and enables you to live your best life. Do it for YOU.

I hope that you will find a suitable partner if that’s what you seek, but remember to live well in the meantime.

This is the only life you’ll ever have.
This moment right now is all any of us have. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Memento Mori.

Make them count!