Hi All!

Background - My husband and I have been together for 14 years now, and we moved in a place where we know no one. I love him deeply. We both work from home so meeting people is tough. I see it as a blessing. My husband is extremely introverted and although I’m an extrovert, I have really learned to value and appreciate solitude.

A couple things to note here. My husband is borderline agoraphobic and does not like going outside. Because I don’t mind, I do all the grocery shopping, errands, vet appointments, etc… for things I do for myself personally, I really appreciate nature and love the beauty of it — kayaking, beach, nature walks, etc. and explore these hobbies alone 95% of the time.

Because we both work from home and have opportunity, I’ve been considering moving out of the country. As I’ve slowly grown in age (and I’m only 33), I have come to realize that we only have one life to live and I am wasting my time being comfortable living (locationally) in convenience when I could be happy in my dream area.

This has progressed to now being my greatest ambition and ultimate goal in life — I will do what is needed to get me there. Because of this, plus the agoraphobia/introversion of my husband (coupled with me being the only one that leaves the house) I feel like I have more weight behind my decision than his input has. Subsequently, I have it in my mind that I will move there, and it’s up to him whether he wants to follow me or not. He can be a snow bird or we can have a long distance marriage, but for this goal he is more or less “here for the ride” and I’m making an executive decision which I know would benefit us both if he would open up to the idea more.

I know it’s important to view marriage as a partnership in life, but am I an a$$hole for putting my ambitions in front of my marriage?