Hello - I’m in a long term 12 year relationship. We’re very complimentary individuals - certainly not the same! I’m in my 40s and he’s in his 30s. We’ve spent a lifetime together - and are today very different people than we were when we met. Over time we’ve been through many different chapters together in the relationship and life chapters in our own lives, and navigated them all very well.

Over the last 3-4 years, however, I fell into some adventurous activities that were fun and a bit reckless, let’s say - and he’s done the same. They were largely consensual, with some boundary pushing by both sides that have come to a head.

We’re for the first time at this moment looking at a potential split talking for real about these challenges we’ve both felt from the other… had we been communicating this way all along, we perhaps wouldn’t be in this spot. We’re both very level-headed people and the talks have been honest, difficult, and cathartic.

…but now what? We don’t know… I’ve been in therapy since the fall and he’s for the first time going to therapy soon. We’ve talked about couples therapy and don’t believe we need to go with a predetermined intent to stay together or separate. We just want to navigate next steps together to honor the relationship.

Anyone else been through similar…? Happy to elaborate in comments and answer questions.