I’m at a loss. I’ve suggested my long term partner go to individual therapy but he either hates talking about it, says he can’t because of his bad insurance or complains that he never liked any therapist he’s tried in the past.

He’s reluctant to pick up any hobbies, try to socialize, read self help books, exercise, or do anything different.

I love him and when he’s in a good mood, things are often great. But when he’s in a bad mood, it’s tough. He can get angry, he can resemble a petulant child, or he can get depressed and kind of drag us both down by killing any plans or any attempt to improve the situation. I’ll try to help him feel better and he’ll argue with me or get mad.

I’m exhausted. I take meds. I’ve seen therapists over the years and finally, in my mid30s, I feel ready to enjoy life. Yet I feel beholden to my partner’s emotional and mental state. I worry when he’ll be angry and I’ll have to adjust everything for him. I try to avoid getting him upset. I’m just at a loss. We are in couples counseling but it’s so obvious he needs something individual.

He’s not a bad person and I love him completely. But I’m just exhausted. I don’t know what more I can do.

Wondering if anyone has successfully managed a similar situation?