I’m kind of beside myself right now and confused on what to do. A straight friend I’ve known for over 30 years got very drunk at a party tonight and was trying to leave and drive. I was engaging him, took his keys and tried to keep him distracted until he sobered up. After about an hour of engaging him and trying to keep him distracted he got very aggressive with me, growled at me, pushed me around and called me a f****t. He eventually got his keys and left.

I called his girlfriend and she confirmed he made it home (his place was two miles from where we were) so that takes a huge load off my mind. Now I’m wrestling with the way he acted and how I move forward. I love him very much but I can’t tolerate this again. He’s gotten really drunk and aggressive before but someone else was driving and it didn’t escalate to this. Now he’s escalated this to calling me names and I wonder if he’s been hiding thinking of me as a f*g all this time and it just came out now.

This has been exhausting. I think I need to talk this through with him soon. I’m furious, sad and never want to interact with him like this again. Damn, this sucked.

UPDATE: about an hour ago he sent the group chat a short apology for causing us to worry. No mention of the aggression or what he said to me. I’m still angry at him and need some time to sort my thoughts. I plan on engaging with him again but we will need to discuss what was said and what he did (calling me names, getting aggressive and drunk driving) before we hang out again

UPDATE #2: he just sent another apology directly to me. “I'm sorry about that trouble, my fella. I shouldn't have drove, and I really shouldn't have got that hammered.” I’m still figuring out what I should say next without waving what happened away but also trying to help him and not completely cut him off