Not a question. I've been trying to build my self esteem up for years and I'm finally starting to see the pay offs.

In high school, I was anorexic and bulimic, I thought I was overweight when I weighed 120 at 5'10". I have very homophobic/evangelical parents that made my life miserable.

Well now I'm in college and I've been going to the gym for over a year. I gained 15 pounds and a lot of muscle. I've been dressing and feeling better about myself. I think I've been impressing myself with matching fitted clothes better and making cool outfits which really helped my self appearance. I even think I look pretty good on most days. I still have days where I feel ugly, but those days are no longer the majority or even plurality.

I've been kinder to myself lately. I have a lot going on like everyone else. I'd never say horrible things about my friends looks, character, or ethic, especially when they were hurting, but why did I do it to myself?

I now have a voice in my head telling me no if I start thinking negative things about myself. I no longer believe the self hate that randomly pops up in my mind. It's become almost instant. I still feel lazy or like I don't accomplish as much as I'd like, but I'm getting better. In fact, I've always been doing a lot and shout be proud.

I used to cry a lot, and I don't hold in tears, but even when I do get upset I don't feel a crushing urge to break down or let everything out. Things will pass. I've learned to communicate my feelings more and am more honest with myself and others.

I never even thought I'd live this long or accomplish so many crazy things or see and do and try so many awesome things in these past two years.

I realized how far I've come and how much I've improved, I don't know I thought it would be fun to share. To my gay bros, don't give up. The crappy people around you might not get better, but you will.